There is much contradictory advice about suffering out there.
I have encountered buddhist teachers who laugh when told about rape - in fact the actual words were 'So?'
I have heard buddhist teachers say 'don't get upset, it will create a deeper emotional reactive groove in the mind. Don't indulge it'
This would a little more understandable if the person in question was a drama queen addicted to rehearsing the same old story over and over again.
but what if the person in question was an abuse survivor who needed to be heard for the first time, needed their suffering to be allowed and acknowledged? Needed a heart open response rather than a heart closed response?
I have a story to tell. It is unfortunately a true story.
Once upon a time there was a Trickster. He loved being seen as wise and insightful and could get very sarcastic and cruel if anyone crossed him. One of his students, who loved him very much, kept feeling uncomfortable when the Trickster was manipulative or bullying to others and pointed this out to him. He started bullying her and creating an atmosphere of sarcasm and nastiness. Some of his cronies joined in. The poor student was eventually broken by the Trickster who let rip and told untruths to destroy her. She told his own teacher ( a truly good man) who replied : His mind has a huge crack in it. If I challenge him to see himself as he truly is, he will probably break and go over the edge. I have to proceed with caution. It is only the adulation of his groupies that is keeping him going.
Meanwhile a family member of the same good teacher, came to the student and told her she had been sexually assaulted and attacked and nearly raped by one of the monks. So the student went to the head of the monastery and told him. He said that they would not do anything and that he would move the errant monk to a city instead. Eventually that errant monk murdered the good teacher and two others. All this suffering is happening in an organisation where compassion and kindness and forgiveness and self control is taught. It is a very sad example of how people are just people and keep playing their ego games no matter what ....
I have encountered buddhist teachers who laugh when told about rape - in fact the actual words were 'So?'
I have heard buddhist teachers say 'don't get upset, it will create a deeper emotional reactive groove in the mind. Don't indulge it'
This would a little more understandable if the person in question was a drama queen addicted to rehearsing the same old story over and over again.
but what if the person in question was an abuse survivor who needed to be heard for the first time, needed their suffering to be allowed and acknowledged? Needed a heart open response rather than a heart closed response?
I have a story to tell. It is unfortunately a true story.
Once upon a time there was a Trickster. He loved being seen as wise and insightful and could get very sarcastic and cruel if anyone crossed him. One of his students, who loved him very much, kept feeling uncomfortable when the Trickster was manipulative or bullying to others and pointed this out to him. He started bullying her and creating an atmosphere of sarcasm and nastiness. Some of his cronies joined in. The poor student was eventually broken by the Trickster who let rip and told untruths to destroy her. She told his own teacher ( a truly good man) who replied : His mind has a huge crack in it. If I challenge him to see himself as he truly is, he will probably break and go over the edge. I have to proceed with caution. It is only the adulation of his groupies that is keeping him going.
Meanwhile a family member of the same good teacher, came to the student and told her she had been sexually assaulted and attacked and nearly raped by one of the monks. So the student went to the head of the monastery and told him. He said that they would not do anything and that he would move the errant monk to a city instead. Eventually that errant monk murdered the good teacher and two others. All this suffering is happening in an organisation where compassion and kindness and forgiveness and self control is taught. It is a very sad example of how people are just people and keep playing their ego games no matter what ....
