really good article
http://lindagraham-mft.com/neuroscience_attachment.htm
on attachment and neuroscience

Thich Nhat Hanh retreat

Being Alone

Here is an opportunity to quieten the mind,
reflecting on the aspect of no-self
and transcending all notions of being alone.

If you can't sleep ...

try the lying down cobbler and three stage yogic breathing. 

Alternate nostril breathing is really good.

All forward bends because they are soothing.

Also corpse pose doing yoga nidra.

Survival of the Nurtured

"How did the rose ever open it's heart and give to the world all of its beauty? It felt the encouragement of light against its beings; otherwise we all remain too frightened." Hafiz.







We are not the survival of the fittest, we are the survival of the nurtured. We had a phenomenal growth of the cortex because we needed to communicate verbally and non verbally with the members of our tribe in order to survive. This higher brain that we evolved to survive has the amazing capacities of empathy, consciousness, planning, language, thinking, discernment. Also this pre frontal cortex is matured and developed by using empathy. That part of the brain matures when we nurture and empathize and are nurtured and empathized with.




Any emotional-relational-social experiences that are processed before the brain structures that can process experience consciously are fully mature, before 2 ½ -3 years of age, those experiences are stored only in implicit memory, only outside of awareness. This includes ALL early patterns of attachment. The research has proven “beyond irrefutability” that attachment patterns stabilize in our neural circuitry by 12-18 months of age. They are stable and unconscious before we have any conscious choice in the matter and unless new experiences change them, will remain stable “rules” of relating well into adulthood.


Oxytocin is the bonding hormone that is released through touch, warmth and movement, such as breastfeeding and orgasm. Oxytocin calms the amygdala, it can spur the pre-frontal cortex to grow GABA bearing fibers down to the anydgala and quell the fear response. It is why hugs make us feel safe and bonded to the person who is helping to release oxytocin in our brains. Even just imaging someone who gave us unconditional positive regard or love, will activate oxytocin and calm us down and make us feel warm and loved.




mostly extracted from
http://www.lindagraham-mft.com/neuroscience_attachment.htm

Kriya

Kriya (in Sanskrit "action, deed, effort") most commonly refers to a "completed action", technique or practice within a yoga discipline meant to achieve a specific result. Types of kriya may vary widely between different schools of yoga. Another meaning of Kriya is the outward physical manifestations of awakened kundalini. Kriyas can also be the spontaneous movements resulting from the awakening of Kundalini energy.

Neuroscience of Attachment and Resilience

On this website there are some interesting articles, on things such as ...

Neuroscience of Attachment:
Attachment research and modern neuroscience are teaching us:


1. our earliest relationships actually build the brain structures we use for relating lifelong;
2. experiences in those early relationships encode in the neural circuitry of our brains by 12-18 months of age; these patterns of attachment become the “rules” for relating that operate lifelong, the “known but not remembered” givens of our relational lives.
3. when those early experiences have been less than optimal, those unconscious patterns of attachment can continue to shape the perceptions and responses of the brain in old ways that get stuck, that can’t take in new experience as new information, can’t learn or adapt or grow from those experiences. What we have come to call the defensive patterns of personality disorders. What one clinician calls “tragic recursive patterns that become encased in neural cement.”

Fortunately, the human brain has always had the biologically innate capacity to grow new neurons – lifelong – and more importantly, to create new synaptic connections between neurons lifelong.

Attachment research explains how therapy, by providing the very same experiences in adulthood that create secure attachment in early development - presence, attunement, empathy, affect regulation, reliable reciprocal communication and practical help - help create the internal secure base in clients that is the foundation of all mental and emotional health.

Attachment-based therapy helps clients literally re-program their brains and heal from the maladaptive relational-emotional-coping strategies we term personality disorders to the flexible, adaptive, cohesive, integrated strategies that support the emergence of a fully authentic Whole Self.

Resilience:


The foundation of resilience - the development of capacities to cope - rests in the experiences of our earliest attachment relationships, where we procedurally learn to repair ruptures in relationship, regulate our emotions, and gel a stable yet flexible sense of self -- or not.

When clients consistently have trouble coping with their lives in adulthood, they may lack the foundation of resilience - the unconscious internal secure base that comes from early secure attachments. Therapy needs to do - and can do - more than help such clients explicitly learn how to think, how to make decisions, how to plan, how to look for options. Therapists need to - and can - provide a safe, empathic, attachment relationship - re-parenting, if you will - where clients recover capacities of self, relating, regulating and coping that are the true foundation of resilience.


Linda Graham
http://www.lindagraham-mft.com/articles.htm

Rinpoche in Brussels

Akong Rinpoche gave a talk in Brussels following His Holiness's live transmission on Saturday and in part of the talk, Rinpoche " went on stressing the importance of good teachers, people with all the right training and experience, capable of transmitting the teaching properly, but above all able to help others without any concern for their own benefit or personal glory."
Go Rinpoche!

Hugging video

yet another lovely hugging video with music Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen, wonderful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN8CKwdosjE&feature=player_embedded

Wonderful News! Dear Akong Rinpoche has just made my lovely retreat mistress, Chokyi, of 20 yrs retreat, into Lama Rinchen. She deserves it so much, she is such a great example to us and I am so utterly happy for her.

FAQ 8 Most Frequently Asked Questions on Meditation

1. Is meditation about blanking the mind and not thinking?
Answer: absolutely not!
we train in meditation to notice what the mind does and be aware, but the mind does think and it would be counter productive to tell it not to. We DO give it a support so that it can come and rest a while on a word, or awareness of the breath but it tends to go off and wander again so when you notice bring it right on back to the support.
2. I use a word for a support, and I feel very chilled out and blissful. I don't seem to think anymore. Is this okay?
Answer: you may be using meditation on a support to relax and feel peaceful and so be becoming slightly dull. It is a very nice feeling especially if you are usually very tense. BUT, true meditation is about travelling along a journey of becoming increasingly aware of what the mind is doing and not getting attached to feelings of peace or being blissful.
3. Should I meditate if I am on anti depressants or mentally unwell?
Meditation can be used as above for simply calming down the system. You can try it for this and see if it works. just use a simple support. I usually do not take people on a meditation training course if they are mentally unwell unless they have permission from their doctor or therapist.
4. I am feeling very emotional - I find it hard to sit still and meditation feels very difficult for me. What should I do?
Just do small three or five minutes of practice, where you rest on the support and come back to it, when the mind is seen as wandering off. And try as best you can to not get frustrated. A little practice where you come back maybe three times in five minutes, will slowly help the mind to become more clear and stable. Also you could try Tai Chi and yoga as they are very meditative.
5. I am Christian and have been told I should not do meditation as it is not Christian.
Answer: the early Christians, especially the Desert Fathers in the 4th Century, liked to 'Be still and know that I am God,' they liked to sit and quietly open up to God, the depth of their and our being. they practiced Meditation and many contemplative tradition in modern day Christianity still practice meditation. It is NOT just an Eastern thing.
6. If I empty the mind, won't the devil walk in?
Answer: Firstly we are not emptying the mind and secondly, yes, if you sit quietly you may see parts of yourself which you usually keep busy to hide from. So we suggest that you increase your self kindness and acceptance and be willing to fully know yourself. Also, we suggest that you are in contact with an experienced teacher so they can advise you if you start to see more of your deeper self than you were bargaining for ! :) We all hide things and yes, you may notice them more as you become clearer and more aware of your own mind. But letting the devil in? That is just a way to blame something else for something your own mind is creating or has created. Take responsibility.
7. what is the REAL purpose of meditation?
To become fully whole - fully wise and fully compassionate. To be truly human and truly fully blossomed.
8. where can I learn meditation?
Answer: there are LOTS of meditation centres and posters up and around these days. Be careful. My favourite tip is that you find out WHO the people teaching you REALLY are, (they may not put that on their adverts) and look them up on the internet perhaps inserting the word 'scandal' or 'difficulties' next to their name and see what comes up ! Please do not assume they must be okay just because they seem very nice.

FAQ 8 Most Frequently Asked Questions on Yoga

Always follow your doctors advice first. Doctor’s advice is still preferable before practicing Yoga.

1. Will yoga help heal my back?
A. YES !
If you have torn muscles or actually ruptured discs, please do not do yoga until these are healed sufficiently. For general back strain, where the discs are bulging and the abdominal muscles and back muscles are weak, yoga is tremendously helpful for strengthening your back. If I could have a fiver for every time one of my students says, " oh I have been told not to do yoga by my physio/doctor/chiropracter" and then I bump into them and they say " Oh the exercises we are doing for my back are JUST the same as you teach for backs in yoga" and I have to bite my tongue. In fact one of the best yoga books is by Rita Treiger called "Yoga Heals your Back".
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Yoga-Heals-Your-Back-10-minute/dp/1592330932/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277584909&sr=1-1
A must have for anyone with back problems.
So: yoga is designed to heal discs, strengthen muscles and generally get your back sorted. If you have a weak back you may go to a yoga class and over exert and pull your back out, but that is because you were not protecting your back and have not built up gently over time. Take is slow if you are new to yoga.
2. Will yoga help my knees?
Answer: Yes
Yoga Poses – if done with conscious good alignment of the leg bones and joint, it will help make the knees stronger and less receptive to injury.
Knees are tricky as they are semi hinge joints. So we protect them a lot in yoga by pulling knees in and lifting the thighs UP when standing. We also rarely allow the knees to go past the toes and try not to put the knee into its semi hinge position. We try to keep the knees in simple hinge only.
Damaged knees can be healed by yoga unless there is a serious cartilage problem.
please look at:
http://www.abc-of-yoga.com/yoga-and-health/yoga-for-knees.asp
there is also a good book
3. What are the best things to include in a yoga session?
Answer: A basic yoga session need not take too long. A basic session usually follows this order:

• Warm-up Exercises - conditions your body for safe transition into asana practice. For beginners, you may just use the warm-up poses as your entire practice. Warm-up exercises open the shoulder muscles, the spine, the hips, the lower back, and the groin.
• Standing Poses - for alignment of the feet and the body. Opens the hips, stretches the legs, add strength to your back and increases your range of movement. Standing poses facilitates digestion, blood circulation and is good for those who want to lose weight.
• Sitting Poses - sitting poses allows you to infuse with the breath and prana, and to revitalize from a pose by giving you a calm and quiet feeling. These poses greatly contribute in shaping your buttocks and legs, and in adding vitality and suppleness to the spine.
• Twists - twist exercises releases the tension in your spines, relieves backaches and makes your shoulders more flexible. It also facilitates in the circulation of blood and nutrients in the body making it necessary for the health of the inter-vertebral discs.
• Supine and Prone Poses - these poses releases tension in your abdomen and increase the mobility of your spine. It restores strength in your back, arms and legs, and releases your hips and groins.
• Inverted and Balance Poses - inverted and balance poses defies gravity and develops coordination, increase stamina and strength, and improves grace, agility and poise. It also improves you concentration and focus since being quiet is necessary to be able to do these poses.
• Backbends - backbends are the poses that benefit the adrenal glands and the kidney. It also releases tension in the front body and in your shoulders and pelvic girdle, and improves the flexibility of your spine.
• Finishing Poses - these are the cooling-down exercises for Yoga.

4. How often should I do yoga?
Answer: ideally every day, even just for a little while. We are taught that 20 mins each day is better than 2 hours once a week.
A lot of my students cannot make much time for their yoga initially, or don't want to, so I suggest to them that they do little bits of yoga, like a lying down stretch or knee hug when they wake up,( I am a great fan of doing yoga poses
in bed when just waking up, they are all lying down ones obviously and sometimes the partner/child/cat/dog who are also snuggled up somewhere on the bed, have to be warned. :) )
a standing pose as they wait for their shower to warm up,
an arm or side stretch as the kettle boils,
some breathing work whilst in a queue or waiting somewhere,
and regular reminders to be mindful and in the moment.
Some people find that the idea of 20 minutes puts them off but they can 'sneak' in some yoga throughout their day. This is much better than doing none!
5. Is yoga a religion?
No.
Yoga developed on the Indian subcontinent more than four thousand years ago and the earliest written references to Yoga are in the Vedas, written about 2,500 - 600 B.C. Yoga is NOT a religion but it has its root in the Hindu culture of India. It is non sectarian and may be practiced with confidence by anyone.
6. What does 'yoga' mean?
Answer: The word yoga comes from the Sanskrit word 'yuj' which means to unite, join or integrate. The word Hatha means Ha, 'sun' and Tha 'moon' so it is the union of opposites.
7. What are Asanas, are they all that we do in a Hatha Yoga class and what do they do?
Hatha Yoga includes Asanas (postures) Pranayama (breathing) Bandhas (locks) and Dhyana (meditation).
Asanas: They are designed to promote a state of mental and physical well-being or good health. All the organs begin to function efficiently. Asanas overhaul, rejuvenate and bring the entire system into a state of balance. They initially focus on increasing and maintaining flexibility of the spine, toning and rejuvenating the nervous system. The bending movements, twisting and gentle stretching movements bring flexibility to other joints of the body, as well as massaging the glands and organs. Circulation is improved, ensuring a rich supply of nutrients and oxygen to all the cells of the body. The steadiness of the postures free the mind from disturbance caused by physical movement, promoting steadiness of the mind, balancing the emotions, and improving your outlook on life.
8. How will yoga help me?
Yoga is a way of life, an integrated system of education for the body, mind and inner spirit. It addresses all aspects of our lives from muscles and joints to tendencies buried deep in our subconscious.

His Holiness 17th Karmapa 25th Brithday live teachings

Karmapa's birthday speech, given in English
I have a rough transcript if you want it, so if you are my student or friend please email me.

I have moved the Stories of the Lost Child

please email me if you would like to know where the Lost Child stories are now being posted cos they have found a new and happy home in a my newest blog.
:)
there they can roam free

His Holiness 17th Karmapa gave some teachings last week from Friday to Sunday and here is the site to listen to them
http://www.karmapa-teachings.org/2010st

Mind and Life Institute latest news Mindfulness and Nueroscience

I follow the work of The Mind and Life Institute and they have just sent out their latest newsletter in which they are celebrating board member Richie Davidson opening his Center for Investigating Health Minds at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
http://www.investigatinghealthyminds.org/
The new Center for Investigating Healthy Minds will be the only University-based neuroscience
center with an onsite meditation room, marking un-precedented authentic acceptance of the role of contemplative practices in the study of neuroscience.
Also:
Amishi Jha, Ph.D was recently awarded a $2 million Department of Defense grant to research
whether or not mindfulness practice can help soldiers psychological health, focus, and emotion.
In their recently published study, Amishi examined the program developed by Dr. Stanley’s Mind Fitness Training Institute (www.mind-fitness-training.org/) to study the effects of mindfulness meditation on marines and found that those who spent more time engaging in
daily mindfulness practices scored higher in mood and working memory evaluations. In her current project in soldiers, Amishi is continuing to ask questions about the neural effects of training using brainwave recordings www.amishi.com/lab/strong/
Amishi is also looking at mindfulness and PTSD

In my work and teaching I am deeply struck by the woundedness we all carry. Some more than others and many carrying a deeply hurt child who was not heard or was not listened to and learnt to adapt to survive. This extract below is from a web site called Inner Child Healing, the URL is at the end. I thought people would find it helpful.

"Recovery involves bringing to consciousness those beliefs and attitudes in our subconscious that are causing our dysfunctional reactions so that we can reprogram our ego defenses to allow us to live a healthy, fulfilling life instead of just surviving. So that we can own our power to make choices for ourselves about our beliefs and values instead of unconsciously reacting to the old tapes. Recovery is consciousness raising. It is en-light-en-ment - bringing the dysfunctional attitudes and beliefs out of the darkness of our subconscious into the Light of consciousness.

On an emotional level the dance of Recovery is owning and honoring the emotional wounds so that we can release the grief energy - the pain, rage, terror, and shame that is driving us.

That shame is toxic and is not ours - it never was! We did nothing to be ashamed of - we were just little kids. Just as our parents were little kids when they were wounded and shamed, and their parents before them, etc., etc. This is shame about being human that has been passed down from generation to generation.

There is no blame here, there are no bad guys, only wounded souls and broken hearts and scrambled minds."

(Quotations in this color are from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls)

Inner child work is in one way detective work. We have a mystery to solve. Why have I have I been attracted to the the type of people that I have been in relationship with in my life? Why do I react in certain ways in certain situations? Where did my behavior patterns come from? Why do I sometimes feel so: helpless; lonely; desperate; scared; angry; suicidal; etc.

Just starting to ask these types of questions, is the first step in the healing process. It is healthy to start wondering about the cause and effect dynamics in our life.

In our codependence, we reacted to life out of a black and white, right and wrong, belief paradigm that taught us that is was shameful and bad to be wrong, to make mistakes, to be imperfect - to be human. We formed our core relationship with our self and with life in early childhood based on the messages we got, the emotional trauma we suffered, and the role modeling of the adults around us. As we grew up, we built our relationship with self, other people, and life on the foundation we formed in early childhood.

When we were 5, we were already reacting to life out of the emotional trauma of earlier ages. We adapted defenses to try to protect ourselves and to get our survival needs met. The defenses adapted at 5 due to the trauma suffered at earlier ages led to further trauma when we were 7 that then caused us to adjust our defenses, that led to wounding at 9, etc., etc., etc.

Toxic shame is the belief that there is something inherently wrong with who we are, with our being. Guilt is "I made a mistake, I did something wrong." Toxic shame is: "I am a mistake. There is something wrong with me."

It is very important to start awakening to the Truth that there is nothing inherently wrong with our being - it is our relationship with our self and with life that is dysfunctional. And that relationship was formed in early childhood.

The way that one begins inner child healing is simply to become aware.

To become aware that the governing principle in life is cause and effect.

To become aware that our relationship with our self is dysfunctional.

To become aware that we have the power to change our relationship with our self.

To become aware that we were programmed with false beliefs about the purpose and nature of life in early childhood - and that we can change that programming.

To become aware that we have emotional wounds from childhood that it is possible to get in touch with and heal enough to stop them from dictating how we are living our life today.

That is the purpose of inner child healing - to stop letting our experiences of the past dictate how we respond to life today. It cannot be done without revisiting our childhood.

We need to become aware, to raise our consciousness. To create a new level of consciousness for ourselves that allows us to observe ourselves.

It is vitally important to start observing ourselves - our reactions, our feelings, our thoughts - from a detached witness place that is not shaming.

We all have an inner critic, a critical parent voice, that beats us up with shame, judgment, and fear. The critical parent voice developed to try to control our emotions and our behaviors because we got the message there was something wrong with us and that our survival would be threatened if we did, said, or felt the "wrong" things.

It is vital to start learning how to not give power to that critical shaming voice. We need to start observing ourselves with compassion. This is almost impossible at the beginning of the inner child healing process - having compassion for our self, being Loving to our self, is the hardest thing for us to do.

So, we need to start observing ourselves from at least a more neutral perspective. Become a scientific observer, a detective - the Sherlock Holmes of your own inner process as it were.

We need to start being that detective, observing ourselves and asking ourselves where that reaction / thought / feeling is coming from. Why am I feeling this way? What does this remind me of from my past? How old do I feel right now? How old did I act when that happened?

One of the amazing things about this process, is that as one starts to become more aware of our own reactions, we also start to become more aware of others. We start seeing when the people in our lives are reacting like a little kid, or adolescent, or teenager, or whatever. The more we become aware of their reactions, the easier it becomes to stop taking their behavior personally - which then makes it easier to detach from our own reactions and observe ourselves.

It is an amazing, miraculous process, that can help us to change our relationship with our self, with other people, and with life. Becoming more aware, becoming conscious of a new way of looking at ourselves and life is the beginning of a process of learning to forgive and Love our self.

A detective always looks at cause and effect. By becoming a detective, solving the mystery of why we have lived our lives as we have, we can start to free ourselves from our past. By doing the inner child healing, we can start to learn how to really be alive instead of just surviving and enduring.

from http://www.joy2meu.com/inner_child.html

Trauma Recovery with Tibetan Monks - NICABM

"It is through healing our inner child, our inner children, by grieving the wounds that we suffered, that we can change our behavior patterns and clear our emotional process. We can release the grief with its pent-up rage, shame, terror, and pain from those feeling places which exist within us."

"Because of our broken hearts, our emotional wounds, and our scrambled minds, our subconscious programming, what the disease of Codependence causes us to do is abandon ourselves. It causes the abandonment of self, the abandonment of our own inner child - and that inner child is the gateway to our channel to the Higher Self.

The one who betrayed us and abandoned and abused us the most was ourselves. That is how the emotional defense system that is Codependence works. The battle cry of Codependence is "I'll show you - I'll get me.""

"We need to rescue and nurture and Love our inner children - and STOP them from controlling our lives. STOP them from driving the bus! Children are not supposed to drive, they are not supposed to be in control.

And they are not supposed to be abused and abandoned. We have been doing it backwards. We abandoned and abused our inner children. Locked them in a dark place within us. And at the same time let the children drive the bus - let the children's wounds dictate our lives."

"It is necessary to own and honor the child who we were in order to Love the person we are. And the only way to do that is to own that child's experiences, honor that child's feelings, and release the emotional grief energy that we are still carrying around."

(Quotations in this color are from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4
this says a lot about hugging
I like how it starts off in Black and White and then moves to colour

when we hug each other, we activate oxytoxin, the feel good hormone, in our system. Some people have a very low oxytoxin setting which makes them very vulnerable to depression and low mode and feeling lonely. Someone I respect well, said that we are actually probably evolutionarily designed to receive 12 good hugs a day, so who manages that? I got two hugs today. My maximum since I started counting, is 7. Ask for hugs, receive hugs, give hugs. Try to make them last too, not a brief superficial one but a really heart felt one