"How did the rose ever open it's heart and give to the world all of its beauty? It felt the encouragement of light against its beings; otherwise we all remain too frightened." Hafiz.
We are not the survival of the fittest, we are the survival of the nurtured. We had a phenomenal growth of the cortex because we needed to communicate verbally and non verbally with the members of our tribe in order to survive. This higher brain that we evolved to survive has the amazing capacities of empathy, consciousness, planning, language, thinking, discernment. Also this pre frontal cortex is matured and developed by using empathy. That part of the brain matures when we nurture and empathize and are nurtured and empathized with.
Any emotional-relational-social experiences that are processed before the brain structures that can process experience consciously are fully mature, before 2 ½ -3 years of age, those experiences are stored only in implicit memory, only outside of awareness. This includes ALL early patterns of attachment. The research has proven “beyond irrefutability” that attachment patterns stabilize in our neural circuitry by 12-18 months of age. They are stable and unconscious before we have any conscious choice in the matter and unless new experiences change them, will remain stable “rules” of relating well into adulthood.
Oxytocin is the bonding hormone that is released through touch, warmth and movement, such as breastfeeding and orgasm. Oxytocin calms the amygdala, it can spur the pre-frontal cortex to grow GABA bearing fibers down to the anydgala and quell the fear response. It is why hugs make us feel safe and bonded to the person who is helping to release oxytocin in our brains. Even just imaging someone who gave us unconditional positive regard or love, will activate oxytocin and calm us down and make us feel warm and loved.
mostly extracted from
http://www.lindagraham-mft.com/neuroscience_attachment.htm
No comments:
Post a Comment