Emotional Disability
This often occurs through a childhood of traumatic events such as verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, witnessing violence, witnessing marital stress provoked by adultery or alcoholism, parental emotional dysfunction, moving home several times, emotional neglect, periods of attachment breakdown, early years trauma or severe illness resulting in enforced hospital stays which are traumatic and in some cases, like meningitis, an illness which causes some level of brain damage. If traumas like these occur in childhood the likelihood of further trauma in adulthood increases as the adult is vulnerable and fragile from previous emotional deprivation and trauma.
Emotional disability can manifest outwardly but often manifests inwardly with such symptoms as withdrawal, or preoccupation with high achieving, eating disorders, depression, persistent sadness and hopelessness.
What is interesting is if the child is highly intelligent to start with, the coping strategies can be so effective as to mask the problem, even though they may be damaging to the child, to their sense of self or their physical health. They can often go unnoticed if the child 'appears' to be succeeding at school. Such a child may be labelled overly sensitive or emotional unstable at times. A clever child will then do all they can to cover up these perceived failings.
When the child reaches adulthood the emotional disabilities are still there and may range from mild to moderate to severe. There may be many coping strategies in place to paper over the cracks. Professionals have often totally over looked the possibility of a severely emotionally disabled child if that child/adult is able to pretend to be sufficiently 'able' when necessary. Most professionals agree that without touch and affection, a baby will not thrive and will most likely die. They don't have any answers for : what if that baby survives?
What is tragic is that there are campaigns to help understand and treat other disabilities (physical, mental or behavioural) and procedures in place to help and also to assist those with learning disabilities. A highly intelligent emotionally disabled adult is overlooked and misunderstood.
I think they receive the rawest deal. They are often blamed, shamed and mocked for their disability in a way that most of society thinks is acceptable. They are rarely given help or assistance. Their plight goes unrecognised and they are termed: 'difficult' 'overly emotional' ' a little unstable' ' 'a little odd' or 'manipulative'. This is discrimination. This is prejudice. This is ignorance. The time for change has come.
If a child acts out their emotional disturbance with behavioral problems, they have a small chance of their disability being picked up at school. If a child withdraws inwardly and creates a socially acceptable front outwardly, it will rarely be noticed that they have a disability. But that child/adult can suddenly break apart. If the history of the child is explored, the reasons for the internal fractures can be traced back to the neglectful, deprived abandonment in childhood. Even children from seemingly well off educated middle class homes can be bearing the brunt of emotional neglect and deprivation. If we know that lack of touch and affection can kill babies, why do we expect children who are consistently not emotionally met, to survive into adult life with good emotional skills?
If an adult is suffering extreme loneliness, we do not say ' be a friend unto yourself' but send in a befriender. If we meet an adult who was never parented, never was the apple of someone's eye, never felt cherished or that their fears, worries, aspirations or anxieties mattered, then why do we tell them ' be a good parent to yourself'? They can't. They don't have the neural programming in place. They need to learn by limbic resonance what it feels like by being with someone who is loving and trusted and consistent and attached back to them. It is a learned one to one experience, just as it was for a baby in a normal attachment scenario where the primary attachment figure (usually the mother) bonds and loves the baby.
This often occurs through a childhood of traumatic events such as verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, witnessing violence, witnessing marital stress provoked by adultery or alcoholism, parental emotional dysfunction, moving home several times, emotional neglect, periods of attachment breakdown, early years trauma or severe illness resulting in enforced hospital stays which are traumatic and in some cases, like meningitis, an illness which causes some level of brain damage. If traumas like these occur in childhood the likelihood of further trauma in adulthood increases as the adult is vulnerable and fragile from previous emotional deprivation and trauma.
Emotional disability can manifest outwardly but often manifests inwardly with such symptoms as withdrawal, or preoccupation with high achieving, eating disorders, depression, persistent sadness and hopelessness.
What is interesting is if the child is highly intelligent to start with, the coping strategies can be so effective as to mask the problem, even though they may be damaging to the child, to their sense of self or their physical health. They can often go unnoticed if the child 'appears' to be succeeding at school. Such a child may be labelled overly sensitive or emotional unstable at times. A clever child will then do all they can to cover up these perceived failings.
When the child reaches adulthood the emotional disabilities are still there and may range from mild to moderate to severe. There may be many coping strategies in place to paper over the cracks. Professionals have often totally over looked the possibility of a severely emotionally disabled child if that child/adult is able to pretend to be sufficiently 'able' when necessary. Most professionals agree that without touch and affection, a baby will not thrive and will most likely die. They don't have any answers for : what if that baby survives?
What is tragic is that there are campaigns to help understand and treat other disabilities (physical, mental or behavioural) and procedures in place to help and also to assist those with learning disabilities. A highly intelligent emotionally disabled adult is overlooked and misunderstood.
I think they receive the rawest deal. They are often blamed, shamed and mocked for their disability in a way that most of society thinks is acceptable. They are rarely given help or assistance. Their plight goes unrecognised and they are termed: 'difficult' 'overly emotional' ' a little unstable' ' 'a little odd' or 'manipulative'. This is discrimination. This is prejudice. This is ignorance. The time for change has come.
If a child acts out their emotional disturbance with behavioral problems, they have a small chance of their disability being picked up at school. If a child withdraws inwardly and creates a socially acceptable front outwardly, it will rarely be noticed that they have a disability. But that child/adult can suddenly break apart. If the history of the child is explored, the reasons for the internal fractures can be traced back to the neglectful, deprived abandonment in childhood. Even children from seemingly well off educated middle class homes can be bearing the brunt of emotional neglect and deprivation. If we know that lack of touch and affection can kill babies, why do we expect children who are consistently not emotionally met, to survive into adult life with good emotional skills?
If an adult is suffering extreme loneliness, we do not say ' be a friend unto yourself' but send in a befriender. If we meet an adult who was never parented, never was the apple of someone's eye, never felt cherished or that their fears, worries, aspirations or anxieties mattered, then why do we tell them ' be a good parent to yourself'? They can't. They don't have the neural programming in place. They need to learn by limbic resonance what it feels like by being with someone who is loving and trusted and consistent and attached back to them. It is a learned one to one experience, just as it was for a baby in a normal attachment scenario where the primary attachment figure (usually the mother) bonds and loves the baby.
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