the reason I came across Mindful Self Compassion and CFT and mindfulness and yoga and the whole gamut of skills and training - is because I meet in my own work, adults who have severe ACE and need serious help. I also have my own experience of ACE.
remember that these are the most challenging clients that anyone is probably going to meet:
How to help in a therapy setting? (number 18 is one of my favourites)
1. extreme kindness
2. a lot of love
3. acts of love that are 'allowed'
4. good self care and boundaries which are flexible (so not too tight)
5. really good loving caring relationship with client
6. heart open in the most authentic sense (see 18)
7. the humanising approach to suffering - the wonky brain and evolution and all that
8. the 'normalising' that coping methods for extreme abuse are normal in their own way etc
9. massive nurturance
10. massive encouragement to do body work: sensorimotor therapy, brain training, yoga, qi gong, tai chi, - in manageable ways (not really existing in the NHS much)
11. serious in depth self compassion training modelled by the therapist to a huge degree (the clients in this catagory will rarely have experienced this kind of human being)
12. building up warm loving support groups around the client in any way - church, sports group, hobby groups, cinema groups, local clubs, music groups, anything really to increase the chance of meeting caring individuals who can come to learn to know and love the client and be a support
13. consistency
14 determined self practice so that one's presence is not hollow - ie work to not talk about compassion whilst being shallow and pretty hard on oneself or be more interested in coming across or seeming 'the great psychologist/therapist/expert'
15. Random Acts of Kindness.
16. Tara Brach's Radical Acceptance.
17. I actually believe that it is important for certain parts of the brain to grow well that one needs to feel cherished and loved as a child, as the broken traumatised child. So - that is difficult for a young person or adult client. they still bring the broken child into therapy, and the broken child needs to feel cherished, heard and respected and loved. (see 19)
18. I have an article that I love - will copy and paste the link
but in it Dan seigal writes of four conditions:
(1) Insecure, ambivalent, avoidant, or disorganized early attachment experiences are real events which can substantially and destructively shape a client's emotional and relational development (the client's adult problems don't originate in childhood-based fantasies).
(2) The attachment pattern learned in early childhood experiences will play out in psychotherapy.
(3) The right brain/limbic (unconscious, emotional, intuitive) interaction of the psychotherapist and client is more important than cognitive or behavioral . The Attuned Therapist suggestions from the therapist; the psychotherapist's emotionally charged verbal and nonverbal, psychobiological attunement to the client and to his/her own internal triggers is critical to effective therapy.
(4) Reparative enactments of early attachment experiences, co-constructed by therapist and client, are fundamental to healing.
19. this article speaks volumes to me: http://howtherapyworks.com
20. commitment and the ability to hang on in there.
I like this website and the work these people are doing. clients who have deep understanding of the impact of ACE and also they offer training in how to work with such clients - with day workshops around the country.
22 - ?
I could go on and on, and probably get to 100 so I had better stop.
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